There are usually five or six defining experiences in our lives that have served to create the lens through which we view the world, ourselves, and God. Additionally, what is true about our lives - what is true about us - may seem obvious, yet when we take a closer look, we may find that there's more to it than we realize. It takes a tremendous amount of honesty and courage to own our story.
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Brene Brown
Brown goes on to explain her thoughts like this:
"... if we do not claim worthiness inside of our story, we end up hustling for worthiness on the outside of our story – who we are and what we believe becomes secondary to who do you want me to be and what do you want me to believe."
Doesn't that ring true? Yet, we may wonder how we accomplish the task of claiming worthiness inside our story. What does that mean, exactly?
A renowned therapist by the name of Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score says this, "the only way you can be yourself is to know yourself."
It's remarkable how very difficult it can be, particularly when we have stories of harm and heartache, to know ourselves. We may come to a point in our lives when we realize that the engine which has been driving us is external. There can be many voices, internal and external, that suggest it's bad to even try; that somehow the process of knowing ourselves is not okay. Some voices in Christendom will say it's naval gazing. Others of a more futile persuasion may demand that it's pointless to even try.
The reality is though, that the past comes into the present with us whether we like it or not. It's always here. Even though it doesn't feel true that facing it is not as scary or hard as trying to outrun it, it eventually is true. At some point, the way we've been running, better known as surviving, will quit working. We will become too tired to keep up the pace. This most commonly happens between the ages of 35-45 years old. Some lucky ones get tired from hustling even younger. You see, the faster we are able to acknowledge that we were meant for better than that, the sooner we can begin the work required to experience the goodness that life holds for us.
The process of looking at our most influential stories helps us choose what from our past we wish to keep and discard. Nestled within each is the power to create different endings, to live more fully in the present, and to experience better relationships.
It is important to have an expert guide who can help you navigate the stories of your life. We have skilled Storywork Counselors who are practical and insightful as they walk with you into a place of more freedom and hope; people who have done the hard work themselves.